Shawn and the Wizard of OZ
by TheOneBlueGecko
Summary: Shawn wakes up in the land of OZ, but all it not what is seams. During his quest to return to Santa Barbara Shawn meets the other characters of Psych as the world of OZ is turned on its head. Crack! Fic. Posted previously on psychfic.


**Shawn and the Wizard of OZ**

**Introduction**

Shawn opened his eyes to find himself blinded by the light streaming in from his bedroom window and a light breeze blowing across his face. Apparently the storm that was raging the previous evening was over. His head ached and he realized that could not remember the night before, he had had hangovers before, but nothing like this.

The lack of salt in the breeze and the quiet surrounding his apartment should have been his fist clue that something was wrong, but his head hurt and it took him longer to process.

As Shawn lowered his hand from his forehead he came to three startling realizations, his forehead was bleeding badly, he was on the floor of his room, and he did not think he was in Santa Barbara anymore.

**Chapter 1**

Shawn did not realize he had passed out until he was woken by something nudging at his face. He opened his eyes to see a small furry creature that was none other than Gus's little boy cat. He corrected himself, little girl cat.

Shawn staggered up confused. He was not pet sitting for Gus's cat. How did it get in his apartment?

This question was forgotten when he remembered his current predicament. His head was bleeding, his right wrist felt sprained, his furniture was in disarray, and there was a field of flowers and a brick road outside his door.

Deciding to deal with his head wound first Shawn stumbled into the bathroom. He washed off the blood the best he could and wrapped his forehead in gauze. Prepared to deal with whatever might be outside he left the bathroom, walked to the door of his apartment and stepped out.

**Chapter 2**

Somehow his apartment had ripped free of its building and was currently resting in a field of flowers next to a brick road.

After a couple of minutes walking down this road with Gus's cat at his side Shawn heard a rustle to his left. He turned and saw nothing. Shawn walked on, listening for any further sounds. The moment he heard a similar rustle to his left he dived into the flowers and caught a small pokey creature.

Shawn's wrist was in pain but he held on and picked the creature up to get a better look. This was followed by him promptly dropping it with a girlish scream.

The creature looked like a pineapple with tiny legs and arms. The creature was joined by many others who soon had Shawn surrounded.

As they seemed to talk to each other in tiny chirping voices Shawn wondered if they would be good to eat as he was rather hungry. However, his salivating was soon interrupted as they began to attack him.

Shawn fell to the floor as he was pummeled by the pineapples.

"Enough!" Cried out the most beautiful sound Shawn had ever heard. "He meant you no harm." The pineapples pulled themselves off of Shawn and a hand reached down to help him up.

"Jules?" Shawn asked, seeing the detective in a giant pink dress with a wand and a crown.

"Jewels? What Jewels?" asked the woman.

Shawn stood dumbfounded. "I am sorry; you look just like my friend."

"I am Juliet, Good detective of the North. I am sorry that my friends of the pineapple brigade attacked you, they are really a gentle people."

"I am sure they are," replied Shawn non-convinced. "Do you know where I am?"

"Why you are in the land of SB of course," replied Juliet.

"Oh. Do you know how to get back to Santa Barbara?" asked Shawn.

"No. But I know someone that can help. You need to follow this yellow brick road to the Green Pier. There you will find the all-knowing Chief of SB. She will tell you how to get home. But be careful of the Wicked Detective of the West, Lassiter. He once was my partner in patrolling this road, but has changed. I know what will help you defeat him." Juliet waved her wand and Shawn felt something appear on his feet.

He saw that he was now wearing two shining red shoes. "I think that it will match you lovely blue and white gingham dress," explained Juliet.

**Chapter 3**

Shawn had no idea why he was wearing a dress, let alone a gingham one, and his feet were aching in his shoes, but his apartment had apparently disappeared and he had nothing to change into.

The Good Detective of the North had disappeared after giving Shawn the shoes and the advice that he should follow the road. As he had no idea where he was, and since the detective looked just like Jules, he followed her advice.

The path seemed endless, weaving through patches of flowers until it reached a grove of pineapple trees where it split into two, which Shawn found to be very odd as pineapples do not usually grow on trees.

Shawn stopped to think. There had to be some clue as to which way to go.

Gus's little girl cat crouched next to Shawn, peering into the pineapple grove. Shawn watched as the cat crawled forward stalking some unseen prey and suddenly dart into the trees. "Wait!" Shawn yelled running into the grove.

The cat stopped next to a person leaning against a tree asleep.

**Chapter 4**

"Gus!" Shawn cried out to the person who was unmistakably his best friend.

With a yawn and a stretch the person sleepily opened his eyes, "What?"

"Gus, it's me Shawn."

"Shawn? I don't recognize that name, plus there is no way I would know any guy who wears gingham dresses." The person stated mater-of-factly.

"It's a long story," Shawn responded. "Even my psychic "powers" do not seem poised to answer, Gus."

"Gus? Is that my name?" asked the person.

"Yeah. Dude, are you okay?" asked Shawn.

"Gus," the person stopped talking as if considering the name. "I like that name. I seem to have forgotten my own, but Gus will work."

"You can't remember you name?" asked Shawn.

"No," stated Gus. "An evil detective named Lassiter stole my knowledge from me; I was going to travel somewhere to get it back. I can't remember the name of the place though."

"Well, I am going to the Green Pier to try to find a way home, you should come. I am sure a doctor back in Santa Barbara can help you with that."

Shawn pulled a pineapple off of the tree and with that Shawn and Gus and Gus's little girl cat left to follow the yellow brick road taking the path that Shawn "psychic" intuitions told him was correct.

**Chapter 5**

The road was long a tedious with yellow bricks that seemed to meander on forever. Off in the distance loomed a great forest.

"Gus, what do you know about this evil detective?" When Gus failed to respond Shawn turned to him again, "Gus?" Still receiving no answer Shawn poked his oblivious friend on the shoulder. "Dude?"

"Oh, right. Sorry, I forgot that I was Gus. What did you want."

"Just making conversation really, I was asking you about the evil detective, Lassiter."

"I can't remember much really, other than he is the one that made me forget everything." Gus walked in silence for a moment, thinking hard. "Oh! I forgot, there is one more thing I remember, he has a strong Irish hairline."

"Sounds just like the Lassiter I know." Shawn looked down at the uneaten pineapple he was holding in his hand. "I would give anything for a knife to cut open this delectable fruit."

"A knife? Maybe I have one, I cannot remember." Gus felt around in his pockets and eventually pulled out a collapsible knife. "Here you go, I apparently have one."

"Thanks, time for a pineapple break then." Shawn dropped down on the ground and began preparing the pineapple. After several minutes of cutting Shawn wiped the knife off on his gingham dress, folded it up, and handed it back to Gus. "Dig in," he stated, motioning for Gus to start, his little girl cat already licking a piece of pineapple.

"Thank you," Gus replied as he sat down next to Shawn.

They were happily eating the sweet pineapple when Shawn heard a rustle coming from the forest they had gotten surprisingly close to. A brightly colored figure was darting back and forth between the leaves.

**Chapter 6**

"Gus," Shawn whispered, pointing towards the trees and the figure.

"What is that? It is so bight."

"I know," Shawn cautiously stood up, "Hello?"

"I'll fight you if I have to," a voice cautiously cried from behind a tree.

"There is no need for fighting. Why don't you just come out so we can talk," Shawn rambled as he tried to pacify the creature.

A man peered out from behind the tree. His face was obscured by his long beard and hair, but Shawn took one look at the brightly colored shirt the man was wearing and knew. "Dad?" he began, seeing the bright green shirt seizure causing shirt, its pineapple design visible from space.

"Put 'em up, put 'em up." The man called out, raising his fists as if he wanted to fight.

Shawn tried a different tactic, "Henry?" As odd as it was to call his dad by his first name it seemed to pacify the man.

"You know me?" The man asked.

"Yes, Henry. I met you before, I am a friend," Shawn explained. "This is my other friend, Gus." Gus waved after being prodded by Shawn and reminded that Gus was his name once again.

"Gus, has lost his memory and I am trying to make my way home. We are looking for the way to the Green Pier and the all-knowing Chief of SB."

"Well I can help you there," Henry replied. "Follow me." He motioned them to follow them off the yellow brick road and into a field of flowers. "There is a shortcut through here."

They gang of three, plus a little girl cat, walked for several minutes through the field when Henry suddenly stopped and crouched to the ground. "There is someone nearby."

Shawn looked around and saw nothing. "I don't see anything," Shawn replied.

"They are hiding."

Suddenly Shawn felt a sharp pain in his neck and pulled out a small dart, turning around he saw several men dressed in flour camouflage pop out of the field of flowers. As his eyesight blurred he saw his friends drop around him. As he fell to the floor he saw a pair of shiny black shoes approach and a man kneel down. A man with a distinctive strong hairline.

"Lassie?" Shawn mumbled confused. "Go away you Wicked Detective of the West!"

**Chapter 7**

Lassiter drove his car along the downtown streets in the early morning, weaving back and forth do avoid the fallen palm fronds. The storm the night before was bad; most of the city had been plunged into darkness. The poor conditions of the roads and the extent of the damage meant that emergency services were still assessing the damage and helping the injured. In an attempt to alleviate the immensity of the job the chief had sent out all available police officers and detective to patrol the streets and check for serious damage.

After a while spent slowly driving down the road the seeing only palm fronds and displaced shingles as the only major evidence of the storm, Lassiter slammed on his brakes and the car squealed to a stop. Up ahead a large cypress tree had crashed into the side of an apartment.

"Dispatch, this is Detective Lassiter. I am at the corner of Spring St. and East Ortega. A large tree has crashed into the side of an apartment building. There is some serious damage. I am uncertain if there are any injuries. I will check out the building."

Lassiter slammed the car door and hurried to the building. Without a thought he glanced up at the partially obscured apartment sign reading the name Blue Sky Apartments. As the damage seemed isolated to the second level of the building Lassiter immediately climbed the stairs.

"Blue Sky," he thought to himself, "Where have I heard that name before." The moment Lassiter reached the second floor landing he knew, "Spencer." He had read the psychic's file enough times to know that this was his current residence.

Lassiter knocked on the first door on the right and a very tired looking old woman opened the door. "Hello, I am Detective Carleton Lassiter of the Santa Barbara police force. A large tree has hit your building. Are there any injuries?"

"A tree?"

"Yes, a large tree hit this building during the night, about where you apartment it."

"My hearing aids were off, I don't sleep with them."

"Right, do you mind if I look out your window to assess any damage."

"That would be just fine, young man." The old woman led Lassiter to the back window.

The window was partially obscured by the tree, but Lassiter could clearly see that the tree had crashed through the roof of the apartment next door. "Does anyone live next door, ma'am?"

"Yes, a nice young man. He helps me carry my groceries."

Lassiter hurried to the door to the next apartment, the moment he spotted the door and its pineapple decorations he knew whose it was. After knocking loudly on the door Lassiter turned to the old woman, "You wouldn't happen to have a key to his apartment would you?"

The woman paused thinking for a moment and hurried back to her apartment, she was quickly back with a key attached to a pineapple keychain. "I water his plants when he was away, I forgot to return it."

Lassiter took the key and quickly opened the door. "Shawn?" he called out, receiving no answer he walked inside, hoping the psychic was away for the night and that was why he was not answering.

Walking towards the back of the apartment the damage was immediately clear, the tree had fallen into the bedroom and had knocked over much of the furniture as well as left a gaping hole in the ceiling.

Lassiter cautiously crept into the room, avoiding the tree the best he could, the bed was clear, Lassiter was about to leave when he saw something move on the floor.

Creeping forward and ducking under the braches Lassiter saw the psychic trapped under the branches of the tree, his head bleeding badly. Lassiter was about to talk when the psychic called out, "Lassie?" That was a good sign; at least the psychic knew who he was. However, his relief was short lived. "Go away you Wicked Detective of the West!"

Lassiter grabbed his radio, "Dispatch, this is detective Lassiter. There is a man trapped under a tree, second floor of the Blue Sky Apartment building. He is breathing, but he has a serious head wound and appears to be delirious."

"I will send emergency services to your location."

**Chapter 8**

Lassiter remained crouching down next to Shawn who seemed to have fallen unconscious. Shawn's head wound looked bad and his right arm looked like it was being crushed by one of the branches.

The sound of sirens alerted Lassiter to the arrival of emergency services and he crawled out from under the tree to direct them to Shawn.

A furry of questions and action suddenly swarmed around Lassiter a sharp contrast the unnerving quiet of an unconscious Shawn. After it was determined that the tree was stable the team worked to remove Shawn from under it, carefully cutting the branches that were pinning him down.

Lassiter pulled out his phone to call Gus and O'Hara, certain that they would want to know of Shawn's current situation.

The moment Shawn was free he was placed on a backboard and he was slid out from under the tree. His face was now clearly visible, the red blood in sharp contrast with his growingly pale skin. His right arm looked heavily bruised, but not broken.

"He has lost a lot of blood from his head wound," one of the Medics informed Lassiter, before rushing Shawn to the waiting ambulance.

As the ambulance pulled away Lassiter returned to his car and his patrolling of the streets. He knew Gus would be meeting Shawn at the hospital and his job checking for damage or injuries from the storm was a necessary one.

**Chapter 9**

Gus rotated from sitting on the plastic waiting room chairs and pacing the floor. Shawn had been brought in an hour ago and Gus still had no news, other than what Lassiter had told him.

Collapsing into the chair once more Gus saw Henry storm into the room, "What happened?" Henry asked, obviously concerned.

"There is no new from the doctors yet. All I know is what Lassiter passed on; he had a heavily bleeding head wound and was delirious."

Henry began to walk over to the receptionist when Shawn's doctor appeared at the door, "Family of Shawn Spencer?" he called out.

"Yes," Henry began as he hurried to the man. "How is he? What took so long?"

"I am sorry, we have been flooded with patients since the storm. Shawn was brought in unconscious with a heavily bleeding head wound. He was reported to be delirious at the scene. We took a CAT scan and there was no apparent injury to his brain, possibly the blood loss was making him incoherent, we will not know for sure if there was any injury until he wakes. His right arm was injured as well. While it is not broken it was fractured in two places and there is serious bruising. You may go in and see him, but he will likely be asleep."

Seeing Henry's impatient look the doctor quickly steered them over to Shawn's room. Shawn was lying still in the bed, hooked up to an IV. His head was heavily bandaged and his right arm had been strapped to his chest so that he could not move it.

"Shawn?" Gus began as he approached his friend.

"Sit down," Henry commanded Gus, "It may be a while before he wakes."

The two men sat for quite a while, their eyes never leaving Shawn. Both Lassiter and Juliet had called to see if there was any news to report. Juliet informed Gus that she would visit Shawn after they finished damage control from the storms and that she would drag Lassiter alone.

"…we made it…green pier," both Gus and Henry hurried over to Shawn who seemed to be waking up.

"Shawn?" Henry began as he gently shook Shawn's shoulder. "Wake up."

"Wha?" Shawn mumbled as he cracked open his eyes in confusion. "Did I make it back to Santa Barbara?"

"Shawn, what are you talking about," Henry asked, his stern tone covered up his sincere concern.

"It was a dream, I guess. It felt so real. I was in a land called SB and you were there Gus and you were there as well dad, you had a long beard and you were wearing…" Shawn stopped in midsentence.

"What is it Shawn?" Gus, asked.

"My dad, he was wearing that shirt, the one he has on now, please tell me I am still sleeping, Gus."

"No such luck," his father replied, unamused.

"Dad, you are making kids cry, I can hear them now."

"Shawn you are in a hospital, kids always cry here."

"What happened?" Shawn asked.

"Apparently a tree crashed into your building and hit you on the head," Gus explained. "You will need to thank Lassiter, he is the one that saved you."

"Great," Shawn replied, "I will never live that down."

"Probably not," Gus replied. "Plus you called him the Wicked Detective of the West. He was not amused."

"I knew he was there, in my dream that is. Jules was the Good Detective of the East and Chief Vick was the All-knowing Chief of the SB."

"Shawn, that sounds like the Wizard of OZ on crack," Gus relied.

"Yeah, it kind of does," Shawn laughed. "I think I am going to go asleep again, wake me if Jules comes to visit."

"Sure thing, Shawn."

**The End**


End file.
